I am an introvert.

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I am an introvert, recharged by alone time.

Overwhelmed by social stimulation.

There must be something wrong with me, right?

At least that’s the message I heard.

A society built by the outgoing.

Why am I not outgoing?

Why is simple small talk a problem?

I wish I knew.

Socializing is often stressful.

Sweat trickles down my back.

Uncomfortable silences

Even after rehearsing  I stumble with words.

That’s right I rehearse conversations.

What, you don’t?

I feel stupid.

Embarrassed.

If only I was less “shy,”

Just break out of my shell.

But it’s not easy.

If you’re me.

To be sensitive, defensive,

and selfish.

But in a different way than one may think.

Selfish with my innermost feelings.

For without protection they aren’t safe.

From fear of judgment, fear of loneliness,

Fear of fear.

Fear of hate.

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The Alternative Route for Hair Washing: No More Shampoo

So many talented bloggers I know, even the one closest to me, love you honey!

Finding Nikki

This seems like a trivial topic, given my current situation in some serious soul-searching, but this is something I’ve wanted to try for a while, so why not now?  I’ve read about No-Poo movements, and no, it’s nothing to do with poop. It’s about ditching the shampoo and conditioner and taking an approach that is better for your hair.

From my extensive Wikipedia research, I learned that shampoo is a relatively new product, being invented in the 1920s. I also learned that daily hair washing, which I though has always been necessary for my hair, is actually not necessary, and is BAD for your hair.  Basically washing your hair everyday strips it of its natural oils, so your scalp is fooled into thinking that it needs MORE oil. Ta-da, the invention of Greasy Hair! Shampoo companies must have figured this out, and they made products that do a really good…

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I want to be a waitress when I grow up.

While I’m in the re-blogging mood also check out my friend Jessie’s new blog, she’s a talented aspiring therapist and now I found out a talented writer as well!

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That’s right. A waitress. At least that’s what I said in the third grade. But what better to do with a child’s dream than to squash it and tell   her to think of something different and “better” to be than a shitty, low-paid waitress? (Thank you, Ms. Ellickson.)

So I changed it to “marine biologist.” It sounded smart. And it would get the teacher off my back. I went with that for a while until I realized that I’m terrified of the sea (and the threat of tsunamis, in particular) and I fucking HATE biology.

Next idea: stand-up comedian. Again, a low-paid job with little chance of success. But I’d get to talk all day and (potentially) make people laugh. Realistic, it was not. Closer to a real yet feasible dream job? Most definitely, though I wouldn’t realize it for another sixteen years or so.

Enter junior high. No one knows…

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Poet Tree

Check out my sister-in-law’s new blog called “Lauren Sits.” She’s a talented aspiring writer and a disability advocate! 🙂

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So here’s Poet Tree: It’s about how my disability can both be devastating and wonderful all at the same time.

Poet Tree

That tree is my brain.

It gives me energy to see and to simply be.

Be

bold,

be

happy,

be

loud and speak.

Be

witty,

be

sad, and write strangely

formatted

poetry, it gives me capacity.

There are withered leaves there –cerebral palsy.

I am hurt.

I am different.

I have no choice.

I am extraordinary.

I persevere.

I have no choice.

I love my Poet Tree,

don’t you?

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Busy working on my Gemstone Jewelry Super Auction Weekends

Boy I have been so busy preparing for my Super Auction Sale for my ebay store for my website. I’m so tired I don’t have much else to blog about, but promise to update soon. Until then, I am grateful for your support, and I hope I can provide everyone with affordable luxury when it comes to unique sterling silver gemstone jewelry. Thanks and here’s more info about my sale 🙂

Please join us for our Gemstone Jewelry Super Auction Sale – 31 items ending this weekend of 3/15-3/16, and over 150 items ending the weekend after 3/22-3/23! Everything starts @ $0.99 w/ Free Shipping at our Ebay store –http://stores.ebay.com/BlueGemstoneJewelry
Oh, and we have Diamonds! See how much you can save!

Here’s a preview of items ending soon: (photos in order from 1-6)

1. Ethiopian Welo Opal (Pear cut), Tanzanite Earrings Sterling Silver TGW 2.00 cts. – Ends Sat 3/15 at 11:40AM Current bid – $22.00
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2. Diamond Dangle Cluster Earrings in Sterling Silver Nickel Free TDiaWt 0.15 cts. – Ends Sat 3/15 at 2:13PM CST,
Current bid – $5.50
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3. Diamond Heart Pendant With Chain (18 in) Sterling Silver TDiaWt 0.05 cts. – Ends Sat 3/15 at 2:36PM CST,
Current bid – $5.51
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4. Thai Blue Star Sapphire (3.20 Ct), Tanzanite Ring Silver (Size 9) TGW 3.32 cts. – Ends Sat 3/16 at 12:53PM CST,
Current bid – $23.50
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5. Arizona Sleeping Beauty Turquoise Blue Diamond Ring (Size 6) DiWt.02ct TW .62 ct – Ends Sun 3/16 1:37PM CST,
Current bid – $5.51
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6. London Blue Topaz, White Topaz Ring in Sterling Silver (Size 7) TGW 1.50 cts. – Ends Sun 3/16 at 4:58PM CST,
Current bid – 21.49
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Check out the unique, affordable gemstone jewelry for women and men that you just don’t see in Jewelry stores at our website – BlueGemstoneJewelry.com. Get your loved one something Extraordinary. Thank you for your interest and your bids! Bless you all 🙂

Beyond the Quarter Life: Now what?

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Written by guest blogger, my wife!  Check out her blog: Finding Nikki

Go to college, get a degree, find a job, get married, buy a house, have a baby. These were goals I set for myself as a young adult. When I was 18, these life events were all a big mystery– I didn’t know what I was going to major in, where I would work, who I would marry…but I knew this is what I wanted for my life, and I looked forward to the future with excitement as these goals took shape.

Fast forward 10 years. Now I’m nearly 28. I have a degree from the University of Minnesota. I found a job with career potential right out of college. I met my husband and we married in 2009. We bought a house in the suburbs. I had a baby in 2012, at the age of 25. Fantastic! All my life goals are complete. Now what?

That’s the scary part. I have no idea. I think I’ve been a little too distracted the last couple years, and I never paid much attention to the future. You can only do so much when you are battling severe postpartum depression, an anxiety-inducing and demanding full time job, and taking care of a baby that was sick all the time with ear infections, pneumonia, and has some developmental delays.

Things have improved immensely with my depression and anxiety (a whole other story to share a different time!). My daughter’s illnesses have been reduced thanks to a new treatment plan that included ear tubes, daily nebulizer treatment, and she also sees an early childhood special education teacher to work on her developmental skills.

The last hurdle was my job. I felt trapped– I had many reasons to stay (good benefits, good co-workers, a semi-interesting career path), but only one reason to leave: a hostile work environment created by my boss. In the last 2 years, I have done everything in my power to make it bearable to work with her. It worked for a while, but it was taking a toll on me and my family.

A couple weeks ago I did what I thought was impossible– I quit my job! After working there for almost 6 years, I went into work, gave my notice, and didn’t come back the next day. If you know me, then you might be a little shocked. I’m supposed to be the dedicated, stable, enthusiastic employee. I had no job lined up, knew I would be giving up my family’s health insurance, and my only plan was to use some of my 401k money that I would now have access to upon leaving. This is very un-Me behavior!

So this is where I stand currently: I’m taking a break from all things career-related. I’m not ready to start looking for jobs yet. Mostly I have no idea where I want to begin my next career path. But I’m fine with that. I will be using this time to be at home with my daughter and my husband, who is working from home in his new business venture. I want to make up some of my lost mother-daughter time from having postpartum depression and working full time in her first 2 years. I want to reflect on the crazy whirlwind that has been my life in the past few years, and through this I hope to learn more about myself and have a better idea of what I want for my future.

Oh, and we were able to get a new health insurance policy on the private insurance market, and its actually affordable (thanks, Obama!).

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Update – leap of faith

Hello, I apologize for neglecting my blog. It’s been awhile since I posted and a lot has changed. I’m still officially self employed running BlueGemstoneJewelry.com and so far loving it! I don’t regret taking the leap of faith to leave the corporate 9-5 for something I love. It sure is keeping me busy though!

Since I started in December I’ve been building my online gemstone jewelry business with an Ebay store.

There I auction off rare and exotic jewelry starting at $0.99 with free shipping. It has been very successful, but I knew I had to eventually create my own storefront to avoid the high ebay fees.

So I started designing my storefront at BlueGemstoneJewelry.com and I’m happy to say we’re having the Grand Opening on March 1st! Everything will be on sale! We also will be offering 15% Off by entering the code “15OFF” at checkout. We sell sterling silver jewelry in rare, collector gemstones such as Blue Sapphire, Tanzanite, Opal, Rainbow Moonstone, Russian Diopside, and much more.

However, I knew to be successful I need something that makes my site truly unique. That’s why I decided to start a Live Stream on my Youtube channel. There I will stream live everyday at 12:00am Central time starting on March 2nd! I will be presenting our ‘Today’s Best Value’ in what I hope will be an fun and informative way.

I think it’s awesome that I can share my passion for gemstone jewelry with others and make a living at the same time.

Oh, and you’re a regular reader my almost 2 year old, Josie is doing really well. She is starting to throw some major tantrums, but I can’t say no one warned me about that!

Also, my wife and I are doing better. She actually took a leap of faith herself and quit her job. She wasn’t happy what she was doing and it was really dragging her down. Now she’s going to take some well deserved R&R time and then start thinking about what new career she’d like to choose. Until then she sells Norwex products which is a line of cleaning products that reduces the use of chemicals in your home. She does home parties and sells through her website. We don’t even use cleaning chemicals in our home anymore. For, instance, did you know dryer sheets are toxic? There’s a multi-billion dollar industry selling us products to make things supposedly clean, but a lot of it is bad for our health.

Sorry, that’s a ridiculously long post! I’m glad to be blogging again and I’ll try and post at least weekly.

Until then, count your blessings instead of your problems, and have a great one!

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