Thoughts from a man: Men act like children!

thoughts from a man, men are like children
Image Source

Regarding housework and child care, men act like children to get out of doing them and to have more leisure time. I understand this is a broad generalization, but I say this because I admit I myself act this way and I know countless other men that do the same.

Ladies, I’m here to tell you when it comes to household duties, men will always get away with what you let them. This explains why even when women who have a full time job outside the home still do the majority of the housework and childcare when they come home from work.

I realize there are rare super dads who may be the exception to this rule, but they’re not common enough, and I hope to be one someday for my wife’s sake. The fact is I just don’t feel motivated to do the housework or child care as much as my wife does. Therefore, I tend to manipulate the situation to get away with more and she usually lets me.

I don’t feel good about it but I do this everyday and often subconsciously. She is the mastermind behind our family and knows how often each chore gets done. She also knows every doctor appointment, shoe size, DOB, SSN, when its time for a bath, what we’re having for dinner, knows when to feed our dog, and never forgets to pack the diaper bag, and probably a hundred other things. If you ask me these things, guess what, I don’t keep good track of it and need to ask her. (I even asked her for help in coming up with these examples….)

This is not because I’m less intelligent or less capable of doing or remembering these things. It is because I make a conscious choice to let her do more of these duties than me. She, like many women, will just grin and bear it, and pick up the extra slack in these areas when we men fall short. They learn this unhealthy gender role from their mother and their mother’s mother’s mother.

I believe my mentality comes from one that was passed down to me from my father and his father’s father’s father and so on. It is the lingering traditional nuclear family values being passed down teaching us that women will do more of these tasks because as a gender they have been for ages.

I know this isn’t right and I’m working on changing it. I realize it’s important to my wife and perpetuating these unrealistic gender roles is sexist and negatively affects our marriage and relationship.

I also don’t want to pass this unhealthy view of gender roles down to my daughter. I want her to grow up seeing that mommy and daddy do an equal amount of work and neither doing an unfair amount of work.

That’s right, it’s unfair that I take advantage of the traditional gender roles so I can have more leisure time. I resolve to start changing this habit today and won’t stop until I erase it from my behavior.

I know I’m not alone in this epiphany and am sure there are other men out there who no longer want to act like children. When it comes to doing our fair share at home, we must stop MANipulating with this outdated MENtality and just be MEN.

Love is removing hair from the shower drain

A husband shows his love for his wife's beauty by cleaning

Water draining abnormally slow
feet splashing in the overflow
glancing down at the catchall
did the cat cough up a hairball?

No, there are no felines in sight
this bundle of love came from my wife
she cannot help it, she has lovely long hair
With a yellow rubber glove I pluck it with care

Swirling into a tornado the water quickly vanished
as the clump of golden strands was forever banished
to the trash bin it goes, it is the hair’s fate
that is, until it returns and regeneratesThe next time she sees the drain she feels such a bliss
squeezing me tight she thanks me with a sweet kiss
feeling content I hang my towel on the rod above
her hair in the drain is not a chore, it is a reminder of her love.

It is your turn to do the dishes

Dishes and frustration growing,
Sink and animosity overflowing,
Blame and eye rolling showing,
The moon glowing.

She tells me, it is your turn to do the dishes,
I say, no, it cannot be true,
I am certain the dishes were mine last night too,
she turned a angry reddish hue.

As steam rose from her ears,
Steam rose from the sink,
For I saw this was a losing battle,
Grasping the scrubber I started to think.

What a silly thing to fret about,
Avoiding the chores with a childish pout,
Marriage should not be a championship bout,
I resolved to take the initiative to decrease her doubt.

The next time when it was my turn I did the dishes,
I traded my excuses and became ambitions,
I showered her with bubbly kisses,
And said right after dinner, it’s MY turn to do the dishes!

The kitchen disputes decreased and even the food was more delicious.