My Husband Upgrade Update

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Hello all my wonderful followers, how has everyone been the last two months? I have had a little hiatus from blogging. Okay, to be honest I was depressed and burying my head in the sand… It was necessary due to the heavy issues I’ve been dealing with. Hey, but it’s not all bad, there’s a lot good going on in my life as well. I’m trying to be optimistic.

If you have read about my marital strife than you probably know my wife has postpartum depression and anxiety. To add insult to injury I have bipolar, anxiety, and ADHD. We have a beautiful and wonderful 19 mo old daughter and have been married for 4 years. Since I blogged last in September we have started going to marriage counseling. Our therapist is very helpful and has given us many new ways of looking at things. We desperately needed this because our marriage has deteriorated greatly.

The thing that kills me is how negative and self defeating she acts. She often tells me that the depression makes her shut down and she can do nothing and I have to do EVERYTHING! It makes me mad and frustrated that she is almost incapacitated. I’m mad at the depression. It has robbed her of her self esteem, confidence, purpose, and ability to be happy. It’s excruciating to sit back and helplessly watch someone you love fall apart.

But I know now there are things I can do. I can’t change her but I can change what I do and support her much more. These are the changes I’ve made since I last wrote:

1. I have created a chore chart and am committing to it. My wife gets more stressed by a messy house than I do and it’s important for mental health.

2. I have made the commitment to take over completely when I get home from work. This gives her the rest of the day to care for herself. She needs this time in order to deal with her depression and get better.

3. I have stopped blaming her for having depression. It has been over a year and in ways I felt like I lost my wife. Marriage counseling has helped me understand that she needs my full support to get better. Getting upset and withdrawing just makes it worse.

4. I have stopped sleeping on the couch as much. Yes, I understand this is a classic sign of a marriage spiraling out of control but I did it because I was staying up late watching netflix and avoiding her depression. I understand now this just made it worse and made us both feel terribly alone.

5. I finally gave in and hired a babysitter for a couple nights a week. It’s also made a big difference and has helped her have more energy.

We are practicing being husband and wife again and loving each other the way we both are. Acceptance is the key to reconnecting. I feel hopeful. All is not lost 🙂

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Husband 2.0

progress bar installing becoming a better husband 2.0

I am currently in the process of being upgraded to a better husband. Just like when opening an app and it asks you to update, my wife suggested I update myself.

It was long overdue. I was crashing, force closing my mind, becoming glitchy when she was talking, and not quite as user friendly as I once was.

So, I am currently becoming husband 2.0. This will be a multi-post series where I describe my changes and have my wife give honest feedback and rank how satisfied she is with her new and improved hubby.

Upgrade 1: Acts of Service

This upgrade will improve my processing power by alllowing me to complete more tasks simultaneously. These functions include but are not limited to: dishes, laundry, changing diapers, feeding the baby, cleaning the bathroom (especially around the toilet), grocery shopping and other tasks she gets usually gets stuck with more of.

By improving the servicing part of my dad microchip, this will allow her to take more breaks from the daily drudgery and enjoy life more. Hopefully, this will lead to a positive review from my wife. We’ll see how it goes and I’ll post her feedback here soon on a 1-5 star scale just like the reviews for apps.

Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I must download my new dad update. Follow my blog for more updates to my goal to become husband 2.0, and as always, thank you for reading. 🙂

5 Steps to a Happy Wife (written by a happy husband)

happy wife happy life quote

1. Shut up and Listen.
2. Shut up and Listen.
3. Shut up and Listen.
4. Now that you listened to the exact words she has verbally expressed and most importantly, read between the lines, then promptly complete all the tasks and requests she desires without delay.
5. Rinse and Repeat.

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Ode to Honey Strawberry Greek Yogurt

O thank you all powerful Greek Gods,
for conjuring this lip-smacking treat.

Creamy whipped goodness so sweet,
a strawberry honey kissed feat,
Sitting down on my seat,
distractions obsolete,
rapidly depletes
as I eat.

Share,
O contraire,
I cannot bear,
to spare the soft,
so tender loving care,
a dreamy Grecian love affair.

Alas, my baby lets out a cry,
My heart nearly dies,
she’s so hungry,
compromise,
fills my
eyes.

Baby,
full of glee,
she also loves
custard-like strawberries,
touched by the nectar of bees,
but even more than delicious yogurt,

She loves you so much, her dear mommy,
our beautiful baby brings you closer to me.

baby eating Greek yogurt probiotics Greek gods
My daughter Josie eating delicious
Greek Gods Honey & Strawberry Yogurt

Greekgodsyogurt.com

We all need a little respect, just a little bit

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We all deserve respect. At our core we all want to be accepted by others and have our views and beliefs respected.

Respect…

family
friends
partner
children
neighbors
co-workers
teachers
law enforcement
grocery clerks
restaurant severs
bus drivers
strangers
homeless
prisoners
and everyone else.

Why?

Because…

we were all cut from the same human cloth
we all were once little innocent babies
we all fall short of expectations at times
we all can fall on hard times
we all have different beliefs
we all can lose our temper
we all can hurt others feelings
we all make mistakes
we are all H U M A N.

The next time you are compelled to judge and forever condemn a fellow human being, stop! Think to yourself, if the situation was reversed, how would I feel if I was judged so harshly? I bet the answer would be you would feel terrible. Is that really how you want to make someone else feel? I didn’t think so.

The bottom line is life is too short and people are too imperfect to justify disrespecting each other. Be good to the ones around you and they’ll return the favor.

We all need a little respect, just a little bit 🙂

Guest post: Child of Mine

When you can’t sleep and are
thinking about everything wrong,
don’t worry my darling,
for you I’ll stay strong.

Fighting the monsters from under your bed,
reading stories – you’ll ask for your favorite.
Not one, not two, but three,
I’ll go fetch your blanket.

I’ll paint you a blue sky if you want
to take away the rainstorm.
I’m right here to protect your heart,
hold your hand and keep it warm.

Don’t run into the dark,
but instead into my arms.
What a pretty little mind,
a beautiful charm.

Never lose that laugh of yours,
for it is too amazing.
Embrace yourself, never let go,
and dance like no one’s watching

So when you can’t sleep,
think of me.
Don’t worry my darling,
I’ll be in your dreams.

About the Author:

Sarah Young
Ontario, Canada
Website: Blog Lost & Found

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Sarah is an outstanding writer and blogger as well as a wonderful person. She is student in Journalism, planning to go into PR/ Communications. She’s from Canada and has loved writing ever since she wrote her first poem in 2005. She hopes that her blog will inspire and motivate others to be true to themselves and never give up.

Love and other things…

This blogger rocks my socks off, check her out 🙂

Photography Turret

A person sits down on a bench next to a friend.

“Why does my partner irritate me so much?”
“Because you love them…”
“No, that doesn’t make sense… are you nuts?”
“Think about it: they’re not perfect. They have flaws.”
“Yes, I know that!”
“Rationally,  you do. But don’t you forget it once in a while? Think about it: sometimes they’ll be the most amazing person in the world, guess your every need and tend to it, know exactly what to do to make you smile. Sometimes they’ll go through everything with you, big or small, and still be there, and still smile in the end…”
“Yeah… They really do.”
“Still, they’re human: sometimes they’ll fail. Maybe they’ll have a bad day, wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe they won’t smile that day.”
“But that’s not MY fault!”
“No, it isn’t. Don’t you do it too…

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Go ahead, take it for granted…

A wonderful message by a wonderful blogger, check them out!

Lyrics and Chocolate

It’s something often said… Men are all the same. I think the reason for this is that they really give us more reason to believe that than what they give us reason not too. That being said, women are also all the same. So when you complain about the usual stuff there is some common ground.

So when you actually finally meet someone man or women, that is willing to go above and beyond for you and actually enjoy things most others would complain about, would you consider yourself lucky? Would you consider yourself fortunate? Would you then try and be an even better you to accommodate that person? Or would you simply take it for granted? “I am who I am” …Forget that you are fortunate to not have reason to complain?

…. Very sad, but even given everything on a platter without having to go to any effort…

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With this ring

wedding band engagement ring

, I thee wed
or so the phrase is recited,
What does this symbolize
besides two people united?

Circular transfixion
malleable gold,
Realm of the physical
Casted inside a mold.

More than an element
contains emotion,
Endless everlasting
tides of devotion.

Forever valuable
twenty-four carat pure,
Long lasting luster
that I can assure.

Wraps finger and heart
unbreakable promise of,
The strongest world superpower
an eternity of love.